It’s the narrative most of us grew up with: find your person, commit, stay loyal, and you’ll be happier for it. But a massive new study suggests that there may be more cultural programming than emotional truth.
According to a meta-analysis published in the Journal of Sex Research, relationship satisfaction isn’t about exclusivity at all. After analyzing data from over 24,000 people worldwide, researchers found no meaningful difference in how happy or sexually fulfilled people were in monogamous versus consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships—across both straight and queer populations.
That challenges what researchers call the “monogamy superiority myth”—the idea that exclusivity is inherently more stable, loving, or mature. In reality, it might just be more socially sanctioned.
The Real Secret to Relationship Happiness? It’s Not Exclusivity.
Unlike infidelity, which can destabilize even the healthiest monogamous relationship, CNM setups are built on transparency. Whether it’s swinging, open relationships, polyamory, or something blurrier, these setups demand a level of communication most people aren’t used to. And that communication tends to build trust, not erode it.
That’s not the version of non-monogamy we usually see on screen. When it does show up, it’s usually framed as unstable, messy, or headed for collapse. Reality TV, wedding-industrial messaging, even tax forms push the idea that happiness means coupling up and locking it down.
This research doesn’t argue against monogamy. What it does argue is that the number of partners you have is less important than the clarity, honesty, and shared values you bring to the relationship.
Still, CNM relationships face plenty of hurdles. They’re rarely acknowledged by legal systems or medical professionals. Many people in them feel pressure to hide their status entirely. And despite growing visibility, stigma is alive and well.
So why does the monogamy myth persist? Probably because it’s everywhere. It’s baked into laws, language, and nearly every love story ever written. But if this research is any indication, it might be time to let go of the idea that one structure fits all.
Some relationships include more than two people. Some are open. Some change over time. What matters isn’t whether it fits a traditional mold. What matters is whether it works.